Erase Me

Heads up- wrote this at a random down moment. Thank you CAH. So this is a story about Loki having a very dark realization, and trying to erase himself. I’m warning you now, this has a very dark potential. But I don’t write tragedies. So enjoy, read carefully, and a review would be much appreciated.

Not mine, don’t own.
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It was one thing to buy things. It was one thing to reward yourself. It was a completely different to have something given to you. Wealth and riches could buy you whatever useless thing you wanted, and thousands of them if you’d like. But to have someone love you enough to give you something, that made the object worthwhile. It could be a useless doll, damaged tea cup, beaten book, or golden chalice, but it meant the same. They took them time to give you something special, just for you. It’s not something you can part with, because it means parting with the love that person gave you. Their time, their money, and their love- it was all there in a gift. He’d never received many gifts. Most were at the holidays, few here and there, but virtually none on his birthday. Not only was he ‘difficult to shop for’, but no one knew him well or cared enough, to gift him anything.


That’s why there were no parties in Loki’s honor. It wasn’t that they didn’t have the money for them, more on the idea that no one would willingly drag themselves to his birthday party. Not like his brother’s. Women would stand in line for days to spend even a moment with Thor. Not with Loki. Hell, some days it felt like they’d rather sacrifice their first child to be rid of him. So on that special day, no parties were thrown because of the reminder of loss from battle. And Loki would sit in his room, usually rewarded with a small cake made by the chefs and his mother if he was good. Thor was too busy with Father attending to business before the ceremonies, which Loki never attended. He’d hated that damn ceremony for as long as he could remember. He used to think that was why he wasn’t getting any attention, but later he realized that it was just him in general. No one liked the outcast, odd looking Prince Loki. With his dark hair, so unlike the golden tresses of Asgardians; or his green eyes, so unusually green.
After many years, just staying up here was good. Locked in his room, asking for quiet and peace where he could. But today was different. This year, he knew what he was.


Frost Giant.


Monster of nightmares, creature of deathly ice- hated by all Asgardians.


He barred the door at night, just for safety. He also coated the windows in ice, since the guards never liked protecting him in the first place. It all made a lot of depressingly sober sense now.


A knock on his door every few hours made sure he was awake, to which he replied a quick ‘busy’ and left it at that. He could tell his mother was getting frustrated with her reclusive boy, and Sif had been by twice, scolding him for ditching the ceremony again. It was only when Thor’s huge hand knocked on the door did the ice finally crack. He didn’t care for the bags under his eyes, created by about 72 hours of straight work. He didn’t care about his mussed hair or his ruffled clothing, which had never been removed after he came to his room last. It wasn’t like there was anyone to impress on the other side of that door.


“Brother, we need to speak.” Thor ordered, unloving and dense.


“I’m busy” Loki responded with a standard tone, no inflections or indications of emotion.


“Not for a moment with me. Let’s speak.” Thor replied.


“Busy.” Loki gruffed, doing his best to shoo the man off without confrontation.


“Brother.” Thor roughly sighed.


“Fine.” Loki finally waved the ice off the door and allowed it to open.


“Why do you keep avoiding this day? The people want to see you.” Thor asked briskly, not noticing the ice on the other side of the room. Then again, Loki had made it rather thin to allow some of the precious moonlight to paint his bedroom in the evenings. And Thor wasn’t really inside of Loki’s room. He’d refused to step in since he’d been hexed when they were teens, and refused to come in since.


“I have no place at the ceremony, no wish to attend, and more work than you know, future king.” Loki hissed.


“It’s just for a few hours. Please let them see you for just a few hours. The feast at least, then you can lock yourself in your bedroom all week again.” Thor mockingly begged.


“I do not lock myself in here for a week.” Loki ticked back.


“It seems like you do. I haven’t seen you in months. Is this about your heritage? Loki, I thought you said you were fine with all this.” Thor returned with his irritated huff and a motion towards Loki’s body.


“Fine? Fine? You think I’m fine? Why don’t you find out everything you were ever told was a lie?” Loki snapped back, making Thor tense up.


“Coming from one who lies often and without consequence, I don’t think this is that big of an issue.” Thor replied without really thinking.


“Maybe it is to me, Thor!” Loki roared.


“Loki, I-“ Thor began to apologize.


“No! For once in my life, I’M NOT FINE. I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m sick of people. I’m sick of Asgard. And I’m damn sick of this stupid, wretched day! Every year, it’s the same! No acknowledgement for Loki’s birthday, but plenty of time for everyone else’s! And to top that ass with a golden crown- let’s treat him like an outcast for the rest of the year too! And why? BECAUSE HE’S AN UNWANTED RUNT FROST GIANT. But don’t tell him for most of his life. Oh nooo- just shove him to the side because he’s weak and likes to perform ‘magic tricks’. And just expect him to be ‘fine’ with it all.” Loki ranted with every bit of stocked up rage he had in his chest. By the time he was done, he’d changed into his blue skin, with vivid red eyes adding emphasis on exactly how angry he was with Thor over his past treatment.


“Loki, I-I didn’t mean to-“ Thor stumbled over his words.


“Shut up! Shut up and GET OUT OF MY ROOM.” Loki roared as he used his ice to shove Thor out of the door and slam the wood in his face. Before he could hear a retort, he’d glossed the entire room in a thick layer of hard ice. He slumped against the frozen door and rubbed his cold face with his cold hand, hating the feeling of the blue flesh against itself. He heard Thor’s voice muffled on the other side, but gladly relented a heavy sigh as he heard footsteps leaving his bedroom door. He sat there for a long, long time- just staring at the travel gear frozen in the corner.

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Short starter, I know, but this is a good break. Please review?