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About Deviant Member AuroraFemale/United States Groups :iconthundercats2011: ThunderCats2011
Thunder, cats, Thundercats, 2011
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Well, if my record with computers hasn't been proof enough, the latest one did a Bios update that disassociated the entire program from windows! I had no control over it (since it did it while it was shutting down for the night, and I was fast asleep by that point). Good side: only possible real loss was one document i may need in the future (possibly won't). Bad side: I may have to reload everything, including the Visual Basic program I was using. Thank god the continuing ed stuff doesn't require project turn ins. I'd be REALLY wrecked.


I'm going to have to send the Gigabyte in for some warranty help. I really don't have the money for another computer at the moment, and it would be pathetic if they refused to fix it after only 3 months with me (under a 2 year warranty). But, we'll see how things go. If they have to do a destructive recovery, at least I still have most of my stuff saved somewhere.

btw- Caught by a Cobra is still being revised, but instead of taking down the old one, I'll leave it up and post a new one. is that ok? They'll be virtually alike, but this one will be much more subtle. Kinda like a huge edit, so it can be stronger. I didn't like how it read when I reread it. It just ran on for so damn long, cutesy and childish. And I get that was who I was back then, but I don't like it now. It has potential, but an ax is required to cut away the dead branches. Wish me luck guys. I may be in frustrating hair pulling out mode in the next few days.
Thor hadn’t meant to upset his brother so much. Sure, he was fed up with the rumors that Loki was a recluse, even if it was true. But he didn’t mean it to sound so bad when he addressed Loki. This day had always been awful for Loki, even when they were young. He could recall being sent to his room after the festivities without as much as a word to his brother. It bothered him when he was younger because Loki always seemed to be alone. It wasn’t until much later did father explain that Loki’s presence wasn’t going to be welcomed by the warriors who accompanied him that day, and that it was best to allow the young man to stay in his chambers. Thor now realized it was because father and mother hadn’t told Loki about his finding, and were probably trying to keep him from the truth. Though it royally pissed him off, he didn’t confront them about their actions and Loki’s outburst when he arrived at the ceremony in his well shined armor and new cape.

He tried to ignore the pang of guilt at the idea that he, once again, received new armor for his battles and a new cape, while Loki was left to his virtually unused battle regalia. Even though his mind noted that he wore through armor like undergarments, Loki never seemed to get anything new. Then again, he did seem like a man of little needs and few wants.

“Thor?” Sif’s voice broke through his little trance. His head snapped up in attention, not realizing that he’d been standing in the same spot now since the Allfather’s speech about honor and living for the future had ended. He must have looked like a fool, just standing there, spacing out. Someone could have hung a coat on him and he would have made a marvelous hanger for the evening while he sorted through his thoughts.

“I’m- I’m here.” He stated like a fumbling oaf. He didn’t mean to give such blank answer, but he was too focused on other issues to think.

“You seem ill. Is something bothering you?” Sif inquired. Thor tensed for a moment, unsure if he should tell one of his best friends about Loki’s odd outburst. Assuming the ever vigilant Sif would discover what happened sooner rather than later, he relented his guilt.

“I had a fight with Loki.” He blandly stated. Sif stared at him for a moment, taking mental note of what had been broken in the palace recently. When she realized that, for once, it was just a verbal fight, she shoved the blonde man gently with her shoulder.

“And you have fought many times before. May I remind you how long it took to fix the last round of damage to the courtyard gardens after you two shattered the stone work?” Sif jested, attempting to lighten the mood with her recollections.

“Yes, but this time it was different. He didn’t throw a spell, he just yelled. Apparently, he hates this day and everyone involved in it.” Thor sighed while rubbing his eyes in frustration dissipation.

“And this surprises you? He’s Loki. He’s the resident drama king. Just let him mope. We can enjoy our mead while he enjoys his misery.” Sif scoffed with another sip of the spicy drink.

“It’s not that, Sif. He sounded really hurt. And his points were-well, valid. In all his years here, we’ve never celebrated his birthday. Not just on the day, virtually at all. And, well, compared to my yearly celebration, I can see why it hurts.” Thor confessed.

“So, let’s drag him down here to drink and feast. It seems to be his choice to stay up there.” Sif retorted rather bluntly.

“It’s not the same. All these years, I thought Loki just didn’t want to come to the celebration. But recently” Thor’s voice dropped to a whisper as he pulled Sif behind a curtain to block any wandering ears. “Recently, Father and Mother told Loki where he came from.”

“Thor, we’ve all had the ‘talk’, I don’t see why this is a big-“ Sif began.

“No! No, not that talk. Loki was left on the altar of a religious palace in Jotenheim. He’s a Frost Giant, Sif. They left him to die.” Even buzzed as she was, Sif’s mind placed the pieces together quickly while her mouth gaped open.

“Oh, dear Odin. So this isn’t about the celebration.” She answered with a guilty tone. She recalled their last conversation on Frost Giants ended with the condemnation of the entire race, and a promise to slaughter any they encountered.  Loki was sitting less than five feet from her when she’d agreed to the promise, and had his nose buried deep in some huge tome. She hadn’t thought of it until now, but Loki must have been informed earlier that same day. He’d been so uncharacteristically quiet, she’d thought so little of it with his eyes set sternly on the pages in front of him.

“Well, yes and no. Loki thinks he’s unwanted, and, well, I can see why. I mean, every year I get a big party. Everyone in the kingdom comes! We make merry until the following week! Now, of course many are just playing up to the future king, but Loki doesn’t even get a cake anymore. He just stays up in his room, alone, all day. And before he was old enough to fight, Father wouldn’t even allow him to come down because of the warriors feelings towards Frost Giants.” Thor explained.

“So, what do we do for Loki?” Sif asked, sincerely worried for the supposed loner.

“Well, after tonight, I want to start celebrating Loki’s birthday. Just the six of us. He likes quiet parties. If we keep it small, he’ll be safer and happier. Other than that, I do not know. There might have been too much damage done.” Thor sighed as his shoulders dropped in defeat.

“Come on. Up up. Let’s take him something to eat. I don’t want him starving.” Sif briskly offered after a few moments. Not only would this give them some much appreciated distance from the heat of the party, but it might lighten both men’s moods. She hated seeing Thor upset, but knowing that Loki was feeling so dejected hurt her. She felt as though she’d failed to see what was really going on, and in turn, failed a good friend. A friend who’d healed her when she was injured on missions. A friend who often tried hard to be like the older, stronger men- who received no encouragement from anyone. Not even her. Damn, she’d failed.

After gathering two plates chocked high with grapes, fruit, and sweet bread; the pair took off for Loki’s room. The journey up the stairs was only interrupted by an occasional nod to adjust the other’s plate before it toppled.

When they arrived, they knocked on the door after shooing the guards away. Thor noted that the ice on the outside of the door had melted since he’d left, leaving a large puddle in its wake.

“Loki!” Thor called out as he knocked on the door with a heavy hand. Not one sound came from within. Perhaps he’d fallen asleep after his outburst? With all the energy he’d expended, Thor wouldn’t have been surprised. Surely he at least had a headache after that screaming rant, and a beckoning bed would have felt magnificent under a sore head.

“Loki! We brought you something to eat! Let us in!” Sif knocked with her hand. Thor made a mental note that they’d forgotten to bring anything to drink, but Loki never enjoyed the thick, heavy mead that clogged every sense available.

“Maybe he’s asleep?” Thor suggested. Sif handed him her plate of food and backed up. One swift kick to the door sent a crackling of ice shattering on the other side. One more kick opened the door, which sent off more alarms in Thor’s mind. Loki never left his door unlocked, much less able to be kicked in. There was always a spell to keep intruders out and allow him to rest well. It should have stopped Sif’s kick without injuring her severely.

“Loki!” Thor called as he handed both plates back to Sif. He barged into the icy slushed room, his feet hitting the soggy stone floor with wet sputters. He looked around, barley able to see in the dark.

“Thor.” Sif nodded towards the empty corner. Thor gazed there, finding it vacant of Loki’s barely used travel gear. Sif’s ears rang as Thor called for guards, questioning and fretting as she just stared at the two plates in her hands.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2- not as great as the first one, but it’s a stepping stone.
I got an interview today! Happies!
Heads up- wrote this at a random down moment. Thank you CAH. So this is a story about Loki having a very dark realization, and trying to erase himself. I’m warning you now, this has a very dark potential. But I don’t write tragedies. So enjoy, read carefully, and a review would be much appreciated.

Not mine, don’t own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was one thing to buy things. It was one thing to reward yourself. It was a completely different to have something given to you. Wealth and riches could buy you whatever useless thing you wanted, and thousands of them if you’d like. But to have someone love you enough to give you something, that made the object worthwhile. It could be a useless doll, damaged tea cup, beaten book, or golden chalice, but it meant the same. They took them time to give you something special, just for you. It’s not something you can part with, because it means parting with the love that person gave you. Their time, their money, and their love- it was all there in a gift. He’d never received many gifts. Most were at the holidays, few here and there, but virtually none on his birthday. Not only was he ‘difficult to shop for’, but no one knew him well or cared enough, to gift him anything.


That’s why there were no parties in Loki’s honor. It wasn’t that they didn’t have the money for them, more on the idea that no one would willingly drag themselves to his birthday party. Not like his brother’s. Women would stand in line for days to spend even a moment with Thor. Not with Loki. Hell, some days it felt like they’d rather sacrifice their first child to be rid of him. So on that special day, no parties were thrown because of the reminder of loss from battle. And Loki would sit in his room, usually rewarded with a small cake made by the chefs and his mother if he was good. Thor was too busy with Father attending to business before the ceremonies, which Loki never attended. He’d hated that damn ceremony for as long as he could remember. He used to think that was why he wasn’t getting any attention, but later he realized that it was just him in general. No one liked the outcast, odd looking Prince Loki. With his dark hair, so unlike the golden tresses of Asgardians; or his green eyes, so unusually green.
After many years, just staying up here was good. Locked in his room, asking for quiet and peace where he could. But today was different. This year, he knew what he was.


Frost Giant.


Monster of nightmares, creature of deathly ice- hated by all Asgardians.


He barred the door at night, just for safety. He also coated the windows in ice, since the guards never liked protecting him in the first place. It all made a lot of depressingly sober sense now.


A knock on his door every few hours made sure he was awake, to which he replied a quick ‘busy’ and left it at that. He could tell his mother was getting frustrated with her reclusive boy, and Sif had been by twice, scolding him for ditching the ceremony again. It was only when Thor’s huge hand knocked on the door did the ice finally crack. He didn’t care for the bags under his eyes, created by about 72 hours of straight work. He didn’t care about his mussed hair or his ruffled clothing, which had never been removed after he came to his room last. It wasn’t like there was anyone to impress on the other side of that door.


“Brother, we need to speak.” Thor ordered, unloving and dense.


“I’m busy” Loki responded with a standard tone, no inflections or indications of emotion.


“Not for a moment with me. Let’s speak.” Thor replied.


“Busy.” Loki gruffed, doing his best to shoo the man off without confrontation.


“Brother.” Thor roughly sighed.


“Fine.” Loki finally waved the ice off the door and allowed it to open.


“Why do you keep avoiding this day? The people want to see you.” Thor asked briskly, not noticing the ice on the other side of the room. Then again, Loki had made it rather thin to allow some of the precious moonlight to paint his bedroom in the evenings. And Thor wasn’t really inside of Loki’s room. He’d refused to step in since he’d been hexed when they were teens, and refused to come in since.


“I have no place at the ceremony, no wish to attend, and more work than you know, future king.” Loki hissed.


“It’s just for a few hours. Please let them see you for just a few hours. The feast at least, then you can lock yourself in your bedroom all week again.” Thor mockingly begged.


“I do not lock myself in here for a week.” Loki ticked back.


“It seems like you do. I haven’t seen you in months. Is this about your heritage? Loki, I thought you said you were fine with all this.” Thor returned with his irritated huff and a motion towards Loki’s body.


“Fine? Fine? You think I’m fine? Why don’t you find out everything you were ever told was a lie?” Loki snapped back, making Thor tense up.


“Coming from one who lies often and without consequence, I don’t think this is that big of an issue.” Thor replied without really thinking.


“Maybe it is to me, Thor!” Loki roared.


“Loki, I-“ Thor began to apologize.


“No! For once in my life, I’M NOT FINE. I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m sick of people. I’m sick of Asgard. And I’m damn sick of this stupid, wretched day! Every year, it’s the same! No acknowledgement for Loki’s birthday, but plenty of time for everyone else’s! And to top that ass with a golden crown- let’s treat him like an outcast for the rest of the year too! And why? BECAUSE HE’S AN UNWANTED RUNT FROST GIANT. But don’t tell him for most of his life. Oh nooo- just shove him to the side because he’s weak and likes to perform ‘magic tricks’. And just expect him to be ‘fine’ with it all.” Loki ranted with every bit of stocked up rage he had in his chest. By the time he was done, he’d changed into his blue skin, with vivid red eyes adding emphasis on exactly how angry he was with Thor over his past treatment.


“Loki, I-I didn’t mean to-“ Thor stumbled over his words.


“Shut up! Shut up and GET OUT OF MY ROOM.” Loki roared as he used his ice to shove Thor out of the door and slam the wood in his face. Before he could hear a retort, he’d glossed the entire room in a thick layer of hard ice. He slumped against the frozen door and rubbed his cold face with his cold hand, hating the feeling of the blue flesh against itself. He heard Thor’s voice muffled on the other side, but gladly relented a heavy sigh as he heard footsteps leaving his bedroom door. He sat there for a long, long time- just staring at the travel gear frozen in the corner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short starter, I know, but this is a good break. Please review?
Erase Me
A bit of darkness for Loki. After years of not getting a birthday party, he finally finds out why. Life takes an unexpected turn, and things will change.

Rated Teen for language and dark thoughts. Not intentionally romantic, but if you want to read it that way, go ahead.
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Pregnenolone binds to tetrahydrocannabinol.

...this means I will never be able to get high.

Not that I've ever wanted to try, but nice to know I probably will never be able to. Sooo many jokes!

btw, just citing link:www.sciencemag.org/content/343… for reference. Honestly wondering if, since it binds to that particular protohormone, it would affect the same hormones that generate muscle building, fat retention, and other secondary sex traits. What's worse, according to the article, taking it would actually make my problem worse, because the feedback makes MORE of that blasted hormone while antagonizing the effects of THC. *headdesk*

Well, this is a good thing? right?
If you could obtain one thing to help you with your daily life, what would it be? Device wise.
Well, if my record with computers hasn't been proof enough, the latest one did a Bios update that disassociated the entire program from windows! I had no control over it (since it did it while it was shutting down for the night, and I was fast asleep by that point). Good side: only possible real loss was one document i may need in the future (possibly won't). Bad side: I may have to reload everything, including the Visual Basic program I was using. Thank god the continuing ed stuff doesn't require project turn ins. I'd be REALLY wrecked.


I'm going to have to send the Gigabyte in for some warranty help. I really don't have the money for another computer at the moment, and it would be pathetic if they refused to fix it after only 3 months with me (under a 2 year warranty). But, we'll see how things go. If they have to do a destructive recovery, at least I still have most of my stuff saved somewhere.

btw- Caught by a Cobra is still being revised, but instead of taking down the old one, I'll leave it up and post a new one. is that ok? They'll be virtually alike, but this one will be much more subtle. Kinda like a huge edit, so it can be stronger. I didn't like how it read when I reread it. It just ran on for so damn long, cutesy and childish. And I get that was who I was back then, but I don't like it now. It has potential, but an ax is required to cut away the dead branches. Wish me luck guys. I may be in frustrating hair pulling out mode in the next few days.

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AuroraBluewolf
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:iconpixie8:
Pixie8 Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for he watch
Reply
:iconaurorabluewolf:
AuroraBluewolf Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2014
you're very welcome!
Reply
:iconpixie8:
Pixie8 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So how are you doing I say your journal if ya want I can be your friend
Reply
:iconaurorabluewolf:
AuroraBluewolf Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014
I've been better, and I've been worse. I shouldn't complain. I've gotten some job interests (not offers) and it's starting to wear on me because I just want my life to start moving again. I want to be able to go to conventions, and have fun with my friends (which is awfully hard when you don't have money). On the bright side, I am about to start volunteering (with hopes of making some good connections) and may get to work with small creatures! Which may light that creative fire again!

But I'd love to be your friend! And how might you be doing this fine day?
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongojihunter31:
Gojihunter31 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Where do we post our entries for the thundercats halloween contest?
Reply
:iconaurorabluewolf:
AuroraBluewolf Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014
Please submit all entries into the Contest Entries Folder.

Just a quick reminder that entries will be judged on creativity, originality, utilization of different characters (from both series), and overall style.
Reply
:iconnathaira-from-hel:
Nathaira-From-Hel Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hey^^ Thank you for the fave :3
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:iconaurorabluewolf:
AuroraBluewolf Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2014
You're very welcome!!! I really liked your fiction!
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:iconnathaira-from-hel:
Nathaira-From-Hel Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thank you ♥.♥
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:iconmbozet:
mbozet Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hi, thanks a lot for the fav : D
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